Prayerful Artistry + Just Add Light

So, What is the Mystic Pearl? 

Just like a pearl is a problem pebble wrapped in light, a mystic pearl is formed when the problem pebbles in our thoughts are wrapped with the Light of Mercy from God's heart as we abide within the Seashell of Serenity.  

What does the Mystic Pearl do? 

It's more about who we are (the renewed you in Christ), more than about what it does.  But the mystic pearl does give us eyes to see.  It's the divine indwelling that connects us to God's guidance and comfort through the prayer practice of Surrender.

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Hi, I'm Dorinda.  My story is below but let's start with a quick overview about a  way of having eyes to see that God shared with me in response to a prayer of desperation.  That prayer came at a time in my past when false thoughts of self-pity and self-sufficiency led me to ask the age old question -- "why do I have to suffer so much?"  

I was startled when the Holy Spirit of God actually answered with a quick interior image of an oyster with a painful pebble stuck inside and two simple words -- "raw material."

The vision spoke to my heart that the pain of perceived problems is simply raw material for God to create a pearl of great price that brings transformation and higher purpose.

It gave me new eyes to see that we can look for the good and the new thing God is creating in each and every circumstance.  We can live life on life's terms in joyful hope when we trust that God's mercy will match calamity with serenity.  We can see every perceived problem as a pebble that opens the portal to a pearl. 

The pearls we get to share with others in similar circumstances are our experience, strength and hope.  We get to witness to what God has done for us that we could not do for ourselves.

Read on . . . 

The Secret is deep down within  YOU

Did you know that the pearl is the only gem formed in the body of a living creature? 

When a pebble is irritating the soft inner body of an oyster, the oyster acts in accord with its natural design to transform that pebble into a lustrous pearl.  It does this by giving of its innermost self to cover the irritant, layer by layer, with the luminous substance of its inside shell.  

That substance is called nacre, and is also known as mother of pearl.  

So, is there a luminous substance that abides in our innermost selves?  When life lodges a pebble (or a big, jagged rock) in my heart, is there some kind of spiritual practice that activates within me a luminous protective coating that transforms the seeming trouble into a spiritual treasure? 

Could the practice that sets off the transformation be spiritual willingness, praise and wonder, curiosity, surrender, acceptance, gratitude, divine grace? 

Is it all of the above . . . or maybe none of the above. 

I don’t have a definitive answer on how to activate our innermost pearl-making mollusk.  But I am willing to share my experience, strength and hope with an ancient spiritual practice that many know in the Judeo-Christian tradition as Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence.  It’s also known by others as Self-Forgetting (Step 11 of the 12 Steps), Non-Resistance (Buddhism), Wu Wei (Taoism) or even by the modern catch phrase of “Let Go, and Let God.”

The posts in my social media  are my humble reflections and personal witness to the amazing things God has done for me and with me in the midst of intense personal and family challenges, including divorce, a father with dementia, and the death of my young adult son.  Oh, and open-heart surgery at age 49.  Plus Hurricaine Katrina.  Not to mention a spectacular but little known break-down that I now see as the start of a deep spiritual awakening.  And all of that within the a period of seven years. 

But looking back, I realize that viewing myself as a victim was a devastating false belief.  I realize that my life continues to contain far more blessings than challenges.  But whether circumstances seem to be "good" or "bad," I now realize that the practice of Surrender enables me to rise above the world and its problems. 

There is a passage in a book that I read often that says it best:

• "For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity."  Big Book 66 

I mention my former life circumstances only to let you know that, like you, I’ve walked a little bit of the road of earthly troubles that always leads to a fork — faith or despair, life or death.  For a few decades, my self-sufficient method of "control and despair" served only to manage the chaos until it became completely unmanageable.  Now, I choose to surrender to the Sunlight of the Spirit.  I choose life.  You can choose life, too.  Here’s how it started for me . . .   

• The Back Story

"Why do I have to suffer so much?"  That was the question I whispered to God in the back of a New Orleans Catholic church in the early 2000s.  Holy Name of Jesus is a majestic structure on the campus of Loyola University, and I had attended graduation masses there for both my undergraduate degree in business administration and my graduate degree in law.

Decades later, I sat in the back of the church for the confirmation of a friend's daughter. 

"Why do I have to suffer so much?" I didn't expect an answer from the God that seemed so far away.  But I got an answer.

It came in a brief vision that I've been meditating upon for nearly 25 years.  It was  the image of an oyster being cracked open, revealing a beautiful pearl.  

The two words that accompanied that unexpected image were simple but profound:  raw material. 

The fuller sense of the message communicated to my heart was something like this: "When joined with Me, suffering is the raw material for exquisite beauty.  Just as the crucifixion was transformed into the resurrection, so the oyster's suffering caused by a pebble is transformed into a pearl."

Woah.  Well, that perspective changes everything. That image gave me new "eyes to see." (Matthew 13:16)

In times of trouble, I now had the insight to start looking for the transformation.  My mother had taught me to "offer it up" and now I had a concrete image that made sense to this Louisiana girl who grew up eating oysters on the half-shell with my dad who would buy them by the sackful for special occasions.  

I began to "watch and pray." (Matthew 26:41) 

External people, places and things may or may not have changed.  But my thoughts and emotions and senses did change as I surrendered each problem pebble into the luminous ocean of Divine Mercy.  I spoke at a lot of women’s prayer breakfasts spreading that message and wrote a little about it in a book of spiritual testimonies.  I incorporated "the Secret of the Pearl" into my vocation of using law and policy to help women with unexpected pregnancies.

"God is love," says the scripture, "and whoever abides in Love abides in God and God in him." (1 John 4:13).  

Abide in Love. That was not the way of the world.  The way of the world was to manipulate and control.  I was really good at that.  It took a lot of life lessons for me to learn how to abide.  

So,  I began the practice of offering my troubles one by one into the Heart of Eternal Love -- for me to the Sacred Heart of Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary.   I was prompted to do this with a radical trust in God's merciful love, believing that God wanted my good and the good of my loved ones even more than I did.

But after healing from an open heart surgery in 2015, the troubles got beyond me.  My family seemed swept under the crashing waves of the family disease of a son’s addiction to street drugs, mental health hospitalizations, and marital discord.  My trust vanished as I took the wheel in an ill-fated attempt to fix everyone and everything.  When matters got worse, I fell for the greatest temptation -- the false belief that God hated me and wanted to kill my children.  Yeah.  Pretty dark stuff.

I bottomed out.  The wheels came off.  I wished for death in the hazy escape of numbing substances and codependent over-control.  Yes, the pro-life lawyer was wishing for death.  

By the grace of God, I became desperate enough to ask for help in July of 2018.  And God’s people answered the call.  That’s a whole story in itself, but suffice it to say that powerful help came from women and men who had been through the mill themselves.  

Through several programs of recovery based on 12-step spirituality, these amazing people showed me how they make a daily decision to put their will and their life in the care of God, as they understand God.  I wanted what they had.  

After a few years working a daily program of spiritual recovery and monthly consultation with my spiritual director who is a Catholic priest, my way of life and my relationships transformed in visible ways — especially with the unexpected gift of a husband and life partner who is a man after God’s own heart.  The love, protection and shoulder-to-shoulder insights that I receive from this man is one of the greatest gifts of my life.  

As time went by, I began a new and deeper morning practice of trustful prayer and meditation using the Surrender Novena of mystic priest Father Dolindo Ruotolo as a guiding centerpiece.  I watched in wonder at how God would do for me what I could not do for myself.  

My conscious contact with God improved by working with others to share the gift of a spiritual solution to all of life’s challenges.  

To this day, even in the deep grief for the death of my 29-year-old son to fentanyl poisoning in 2022, I see how God transforms my pain into a living experience of serenity, gratitude and merciful love that I find deep down within me.  I now see that heartbreaking loss and every single circumstance as a chapter in the book of my life entitled Experience, Strength and Hope.  The purpose of my living book is to freely share it with others, as others had freely allowed me to read and learn from their living books.

So, back to the pearl analogy that I was given in the midst of prayer.

Life is hard.  It gives us plenty of pebbles.  Some big, some small.  Some are jagged and some are smooth.  What if those pebbles of perceived suffering are actually the raw material for something beautiful? What if they are the necessary element for the creation of a new experience to be treasured and shared with others after our hardened hearts are broken open? Perhaps this is part of the divine mystery of each of us being created in the image and likeness of God the Creator.  

Perhaps this is part of what Christ taught about the Kingdom of God being within us: "The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, 'See here!' or 'See there' For indeed the kingdom of God is within you."  Luke 17:20-21

This core teaching of the God-man who resurrected from the dead seems to present a powerful truth that the Kingdom of God is not something external, but rather that a state of our interior being when we make a decision to make God the King by intentionally seeking and asking for the grace to follow the loving will of the Divine rather than my own limited self-seeking will.  

I humbly share these reflections  with you in hopes that we can embark together on a pearl hunt.  I’d love to hear from you and learn with you.  Together, we can rediscover the ancient and modern spiritual practice of Surrender that transforms traumas into treasures — on this earth and into eternity.

With love and gratitude,

Dorinda